Repeated Exposure, or How Do I Make Friends in a New City?


You're in a new city. You have no idea who anybody is. You're in your apartment shower crying (naked) while eating a soggy burrito because you're lonely. Truth is, you need some friends. On this episode, Mohnish, Kevin, and (mostly) Armi talk about how to get them, and cover:

- Why is making friends so hard when you're in a city with thousands of people around you?

- Is traveling around the world a bad idea?

- Why are Mohnish and Kevin absolutely screwed after they leave college?

- Step-by-step: how do you make friends in a place where you have none?


Research, Fun Stuff, and More: 

- The mere-exposure effect means people can start to like other people merely because they're familiar. Use that to your advantage and get around people who you dig, so they can become your friends and you can do fun things, like Taco Tuesdays or doing illegal drugs until they ruin your life. Kidding on the last part. Sort of. 

- I have no idea why this is the deal, but a long commute (and I see this pop up in so many books heavy on psych research) is basically always followed by "low well-being". Here's an article that talks about it. The big point with all of this commuting nonsense - be near where you work and be near your friends. 

Fantastic, comprehensive breakdown on how to make new friends. 

The Social Animal breaks down a scene between a man and his roommate. One of them wants to travel the world, follow their dreams, meet new people and go on wild adventures. The other wants to find a wife, raise a family, and be with his friends. The research leans toward Mr. Boring - the guy who lives with close friends and is consistently close to a stable partner is generally happier. Does this mean traveling is bad? Not a chance - you should check out the world before you turn 90 and Skynet becomes self-aware. But it does mean having a home is just as important. 


Production Team - Credits and Special Thanks

Host, Producer, Audio Mixing, Editing, and Research: Mohnish Soundararajan

Co-Hosts: Kevin Sanji and Armi Legge

Content Ideation and Feedback: Mohnish Soundararajan, Vysali Soundararajan, Justine Brumm, and Kevin Sanji 

Music: Electric Mantis

Movie Clip: Midnight Cowboy (1969)

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