Bernie, or Are Friends More Important Than Work?
Close, interpersonal relationships matter, and not in some wishy-washy, "everyone-let's-hold-hands-and-cry" kind of way. On this episode, Mohnish, Kevin, and Armi discuss why you should prioritize friends over work, how to actually do that (because no one seems to know how), their own struggles with loneliness and isolation, and cover:
- What does it mean - in practical terms - to prioritize friends over work?
- If you don't have friends, how can you make them effectively?
- Why is making friends harder when you're an adult (especially after 25)?
- Why is being an "independent, laptop entrepreneur" not all it's cracked up to be?
- And more, all on this episode.
Research, Fun Stuff, and More:
- For your happiness, having just one friend that you see throughout the week is like earning $100,000 more on your annual income (from the insanely great book, The Social Animal)
- Charlie Hoehn has a wealth of excellent pieces, but this is, by far, his 2nd best piece he's ever written. Insightful and honest, he talks about being a better friend (and what that takes) and why friendship is so, so important to our well-being - especially in your late-20's, when you feel stressed, over-worked, and too busy doing adult things, like taxes and trying to figure out how to work a photo-copier (this is what I imagine adults doing all day). Read this piece.
- The quote I kind of remembered/kind of didn't, from the fantastic Geoffrey Miller, in it's true glory: "Bars and clubs are really unnatural, intimidating, frustrating environments for both sexes. And it goes against everything in human biology. There’s no animal that would construct a bar or a club as its mating market. Except for humans. Basically only super-confident extroverts with loud voices can do well. Most guys find clubs too noisy to talk in, so you can’t really display anything other than physical attractiveness, signals of wealth, signals of very high confidence and charisma. You’re competing with a lot of other guys in a crowded, chaotic environment. There’s always an undercurrent of potential violence and conflict. The women are typically tipsy, they’re irritable about being hit on by a bunch of guys, and they can’t really tell one guy from another. They’re overwhelmed by choice."
- Here's the 2010 meta-analysis, the inflammation study, and the Harvard study from the podcast. If I could summarize these studies in one sentence, it'd be: making friends is important for your health and well-being, and if you don't think so, you should punch yourself in the face.
- Traveling is excellent. But some people want to travel the world permanently and do their work without a home to chain them down. I don't think that's the greatest idea. As Ben Casnocha (incredible thinker) puts it in his piece, "No permanent traveler I've met is actually happy. Most are lonely. Most have a hard time building a meaningful career." Definitely worth a read - super short, but good.
Credits and Special Thanks
Main Host: Mohnish Soundararajan
Co-Hosts: Kevin Sanji and Armi Legge
Content Ideation: Mohnish Soundararajan and Vysali Soundararajan
Editing: Mohnish Soundararajan and Kevin Sanji
Music: CJ Beats